Hello Business Lover!
St Valentines’ day is over!
Did you get what you expected? Roses, candle lit dinner. An intimate, romantic experience?
How fabulous!
For those of you who didn’t have a good time – have you come to the conclusion that you are not lovable? That there must be something wrong with you!
You give so much love to those around you, and yet you fear that you are getting nothing back in return. You may be feeling empty and alone!
When coaching my clients I sometimes use this metaphor to help them see that all is not what it seems.
Imagine you are with your young child, on an aeroplane that is in trouble. Your flight attendant instructs you to put on your oxygen mask when it drops down from above you. Your natural instinct would be to put the mask on your child first. However, if you do that and you pass out who is going to hold the oxygen for your child?
Is it not better to put the masks on yourself first, then find one for your child? You may even be able to help the people in the seats beside you as well. Yet isn’t this all too often how we treat our lives. It’s in our nature and we are taught that it’s more virtuous to give to others first, especially as women.
It wasn’t until I had an “aha!” moment that I realised how much I was giving to others before myself. I was looking for approval all the time.
Why? Because I didn’t believe I was lovable and the more I believed this the more I did things to try and gain approval. It was a complete misinterpretation!
My husband would treat me badly and put me down of every occasion. I thought that was evidence that he didn’t love me. However this behaviour was due to his fear of me becoming successful and then ultimately I would leave him.
What I had thought was evidence of my sister in law hating me enough to poison my life, was her fear and jealousy of my confidence that she thought she didn’t have.
From that point of self realisation I looked internally at how much I had loved me, myself and I. I saw that there was very little love. How could there be! All those years of low self-esteem low self worth – I hadn’t deposited an ounce of love for me! However there was some love. Love for other people, for my children, my family and friends and despite everything, love for my husband.
I began to build on this little bit of love and decided to refocus it onto myself. I began to really love and appreciate what The Divine has given me. After all, I was loved so much at I’ve been put on this beautiful planet and filled me with all my gifts and talents and the ability to love.
Once I got that, I found that my love grew for my work as I appreciated what I was capable of and my business started to grow.
I had better interactions and relationships with the people around me because I could love without judgement or looking for approval.
I found that I had better interactions with my dates as I no longer came across as needy or desperate to please and be loved. i became the chooser!
Right now I feel absolutely happy and loved up by the world. I really appreciate and love myself for being me.
If you want to start the journey of changing your lack of self-love, so that you too can have great things come into your life, then here is a little exercise that might help –
- Take a good look at how you are connecting with others and sharing your love and your talents and how others are connecting with you, offering their gifts to you. Notice how you are letting them in. Are you open to receive?
- Make a list of all the things you are really good at.
- Make a list of all the things you love to do.
- Then a list of all the people you love in your life.
- Once done, take a look at your lists and realise how blessed and loved you are to have your people and those things in your life, just because you are you. And appreciate that you have the ability to make a difference because you are amazing! Love who you are!
You are lovable. You deserve it!
So when are you going to chose to love YOU too?
If you would like to have a chat or comment on anything in this post then please Email me – HERE
Have a goodfeeling week!
With Love – Together We Can!
Jennifer X
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Jennifer Beaumont-Whyte
Based on her Values of Freedom, Knowledge, Influence, Passion, Financial Independence and Love, Jennifer is dedicated to creating an empowering community of Business Lovers who want to cause change in the world through their business by doing what they love.
When she is not working easy she is playing hard!!! – Jennifer loves music, dancing, watching seriously old movies, writing, cooking and eating “delish!” meals with family and friends, adores her children and can be seen jogging around the streets of London in the early hours.
Jennifer is the Founder of Business Love – Coaching & Events
Author – Coach – EFT Master Practitioner – Teacher – Speaker
Mother – Daughter – Sister and Loyal Friend
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Image courtesy of Witthaya Phonsawat at FreeDigitalPhotos.net
