MOTHER HUNGER !
Hey Gorgeous One!
And so I’m standing in the entrance hall of my secondary school.
The hallway is empty apart from me and the deputy head of the school.
I can smell the polished, wooden parquet floor that I love every time I come through the heavy, blue painted doors.
I can see the notice boards and the closed classroom doors along the corridor.
I hear only her voice chastising me for being late – Again!!
She says she has noticed that my attendance record has been flagged up to her by my 1st year tutor and she is going to keep in detention after school for my lateness.
I burst into tears and blub at her that it’s not my fault!
“I have to take my younger sister to her school before I come here! I have to wait for my Mother to come home from night work as a nurse, so that she can finish getting my siblings ready for school! I have to get them up and get myself ready before all of that! My stepdad does very little to help because he has a slipped disc injury….” On and on I go through my sobbing.
Miss Johnson tells me to stop crying and tries to calm me down. She walks me to her office where we have little chat and she says she will contact my mother and tells me to go to my class. I felt shame as I went into class with my face all red and tear stained – and told off for being late – again!
At the end of the school day the tutor gave me a letter to take home to my mother.
The letter apparently asked Mum to contact the school. My Mother gave me a look as if to say – what have you done wrong now?
My mother got a chance to explain her situation and apparently Miss Johnson arranged for me to be 10 minutes late every day until mum could sort out my sister being taken to school by someone else shortly after that.
The fact that my mother was the main bread winner of our family meant that I, as the eldest child, had to become the second mum to my 2 bothers and 2 sisters and sometimes cousins as well. This was going on since I was 9 years old. I was 11 at this time.
There was no time for my Mother to be mollycoddling me – I had to grow up fast. Any Mother Love she had, she gave to the younger ones.
My Mother was always shouting at me for something. I had to help with the chores and the cooking.
I never got hugs like the little ones. I never got new clothes like the little ones.
Any and every opportunity my Mother had to criticise me, she took it.
There was one time we were in the waiting room at the dentist. She made a point of telling me off for my socks not being straight in front of everyone – Loudly! As if to point out that it was not her fault this stupid child cannot dress herself properly. I felt more shame!
As a consequence this lead me to try and get into her good books at every opportunity and of course, I would constantly fail.
This pattern of behaviour then lead to the habit of me people pleasing, over mothering others and sacrificing my own wants and needs as I grew into adulthood. This of course affected my romantic relationships as well as every other area of my life.
Also, not recognising the amazing achievements that I had accomplished in my career and business, because I refused to see how valuable my contributions were.
I was consistently putting myself down on my inside and putting a smiley face on the outside – as if nothing was wrong. But I felt unloved, unwanted and useless – every single minute of every single day!
It felt like I was constantly weeping inside. I would often be defensive and angry for no reason.
Fast forward a good many years and things slowly started to change as I learnt about human behaviour as part my profession as a Life Coach. I also learnt about energetics and somatic healing, while I added Neuro-linguistic Programming (NLP) and Emotional Freedom Technique (EFT) to my tool box and in so doing managed to start healing my Mother Hunger and just recently started working on my abandonment issues of my Father.
I learnt that the Mother Hunger would have me seeking the thing that is missing from my emotional life – My mother’s love. I was hungry for her love as a child – her kisses and hugs, her time and her consideration that I witnessed her giving to my siblings but not to me.
This didn’t show up for me until I moved away and got married, then had my own children. That’s when I reached out to Mum and gave her a hug as I was leaving to go home one time. From that point we started to talking to each other as two adult women. She told me her story of being mentally and verbally abused as child by her aunty. Then it started to make sense of how she treated me so badly. She didn’t know any other way!
I’d just like to emphasise that my Mother was not a bad person. She was very hard working and loving. She just had so much on her plate too much to cope with. She was always kind and generous to everyone and everyone who knew her loved her.
In the end we did turn things around between us to become loving to each other. Especially after she expressed what she had gone through as a child with her own mother hunger- and as a mother herself. We came to an understanding of each others point of view. God rest her beautiful soul
I’ve done a lot of self-healing over the years and came to the position of being able to help my clients in a big way to heal their Mother Hunger and wounds.
I found this to be such a common situation with both men and women who come to me for my magic.
In particular those who have had major successes in their lives and still feel that they have not attained much because they feel that what they have done is never good enough, never deserving, and they are constantly in emotional pain. Crying, self-criticising, letting themselves go. At the same time as doing amazing things with their work, businesses or other areas.
One of the first things that I do is aim to bring my client of place of inner calm and peace. Where they are not over-thinking, anxious or spinning! Where they are empty.
Then we can start from there to build up new brain patterns, new identity and link them with inner emotions that are positive, potent and powerful.
We bring in self-love first – then love for others. No more being defensive, angry or paranoid, which can be some of the symptoms of Mother Hunger.
We create a place of inner peace and nothing to fear. Where you can be fully self expressed and speak your truth.
It is a process – the original programs have to be erased and the new choices and desires to be programmed in.
I choose to work mainly with entrepreneurs because I believe they are the ones with the autonomy to be able make a real difference in this strange world that we are living in. I make it my mission to reawaken them to remember who they really are and bring their genius and love light to shine out into the world.
We will all always be on a journey of self-healing and expansion until we leave this 3D world. So long as we know how to fill ourselves up with self-love so much that we can give the overflow to everyone else, we will help to make the world a better place.
Does my story resonate with you? Do you think you have Mother Hunger?
Let’s feed you up so you’re no longer Mother Hungry and you are full enough to do your great work for the world.
I’m available to support you. Let’s go!
There is work to do –
With Love – Together We Can!
Jen x
Jennifer Beaumont-Whyte
Transforming Lives – Healing Hearts
Her great work is focused on transformational coaching courses and personal development programs, which utilise psycho-somatic modalities to help clear any subconscious blocks on the path to your success.
Jennifer is also the creator of the D.I.A.M.O.N.D.S. – SHINE framework, a blueprint for helping ambitious entrepreneurs and creatives to reignite their brilliance so that they can BE the best version of themselves, DO what they love for the world HAVE their hearts most wanted desires!
LIVE A LIFE THAT LIGHTS YOU UP!
STAY INSPIRED WITH MY DIAMOND LIFE – LOVE NOTES