I’ve Been A Fraud! Please Forgive Me?

Hello Business Lovers!

I’ve been a fraud! Please forgive me! 

A few years ago, I had the thought that I was holding back on you. I had not been allowing myself to give you all I have to give.

For the past few years I had been feeling that something was missing from my work, and that something was  so big and powerful that I thought if I let it in it would completely take me over.

Have you ever felt like that? Too scared to open up and allow that thing that you think is missing to come in. As a result you’re not seeing the amazing impact you could have on your life and your business.

Don’t get me wrong! Every single session with any of my clients, I have always been fully present to their soul. Giving value through my wisdom, experience and life lessons. Ever moving my client towards their desired outcome.

However, at that time I had the feeling that if I fully opened up and allow this thing into my life and it would totally transform everything and I would feel such bliss, and compassion, and clarity, and overwhelming abundance like I’ve never felt before.

I did some serious inner soul searching and discovered that – it wasn’t something that was “missing” –  it was something trying to get out into the world. It was already part of me!

That thing was …. LOVE – SELF-LOVE to be specific. 

Oh yes!

I could talk about Business “Lovers”  and Business “Love”, “loving” yourself, and passion, and giving, and being authentic and real, and vulnerable my clients. Yet all that time I was being a hypocrite – afraid to step into what I had been preaching about.

Do you want to know why?

You guessed it …. FEAR!!!

Fear of my own power – fear of the unknown!

Fear of being so powerful, that I would become so big-headed,  full of myself and narcissistic  – out of control! After all Love is such a powerful thing!

“Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate,

Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.

 It’s our light not our darkness that most frightens us…”

I was forgetting that the true nature of self-love is not like that.

Love is God

Love is Divine light

Self-love is shining your Divine light, reflecting Gods creation within us.

Instead, I was living in my mind – not my heart! Over thinking, putting meaning where there was no meaning. Coming from a place of not being worthy. Creating excuses for myself, holding back in my work, on my clients and not serving fully. Because I was afraid of looking too amazing!

Are you relating to any of this? Knowing you could be giving more, being sure that it’s ok to be your best you and have that be the most beautiful thing to be doing.

Once I knew that I was being in fear I began to explore what my deep-down, default thoughts were.  “Who am I to deserve so much love – I’m only me.” “Everyone else I encounter are such amazing people – I see their light. They are magnificent!” “I love these people so much I want them to shine more and bring their gifts to the world. I want to be able to help them do that”

The main thing I was forgetting is that in order for me to serve fully I must be on a level to lead by example. I had to access and shine my own light, and most importantly, I had to accept that I have a light to shine in the first place.

For a long time I struggled with this “imposter syndrome” I realised that this was something deeply embedded in subconscious and decided to work on myself with the powerful Emotional Freedom Technique. 

Then one beautiful, amazing morning I had a breakthrough. I woke up and it hit me right in the gut! I had been torturing myself over something that’s too long-winded to go into here, Just know that I was beating myself up over something. I had called my friends and those concerned to ask their advice this challenge.

They were amazing and I bless them for it.  They all asked me various questions and then advised me to take some time out and rest; not to think about it and allow the weekend to pass. They said to me the very things I would have said as a coach. My work was being reflected back at me, I thought! Then I had a little chat with God before going to bed.

I didn’t have to wait for the weekend for my answer.  After a really good night’s sleep, I woke up with a clear head and bingo! I got it!

“Why am I so worried ? – I am an amazing, manifesting machine – I’ve managed to manifest things out of thin air before! So I can do it again. I’ve always been given exactly what I’ve asked for, even when I’ve felt undeserving. Just imagine what I could cause if I asked for bigger and better. The problem was that I’m not opening up to abundance and Gods love. I’m being small and closed so how can it get in – or out? I believe I’m here to change people’s lives.  So this is not about me, it’s about my service to others. When I work I am guided and channelled – so stop being an arse and Get up! Stand up! Get over yourself girl! Come on!!!”

I worked out that what had happened was that I had shut down to my awakening when I had realised that I had so much power – as we all have inside us, if we just let go of ego and trust the process of awakening to our own truth. We are already whole and complete – created in the image of God. Full of love, genius, wisdom and compassion. 

“…We ask ourselves, Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?

Actually, who are we not to be? You are a child of God.

Your playing small does not serve the world.

There is nothing enlightened about shrinking so that

other people won’t feel insecure around you…”

I had to accept that in order to preach self-love I have to be self-loving , self appreciating , self caring. Not just my human self also my spiritual or higher self. Just by opening my heart and allowing.

I had to learn to acknowledge that when I’m working, serving, writing , I get into a zone where I’m fully present and the Divine gives me access to the wisdom and words my client needs at that time.

If I were not worthy then, would that happen?

I don’t think so!

I must therefore be special enough to be channelling and be given the gift to do that. I’m just as special as any other changemaker, coach, teacher or light-worker.

Add this to all my years of learning; qualifications; all my life experiences; research; with all my skills how could I not be special. Surely God wouldn’t give these gifts to someone who couldn’t learn from and make use of them?

The classic book A Course in Miracles states that “…we are all special and none of us are special…”

And you too, my Business Lover, you have divine gifts, special talents, life lessons and experiences that you bring to the world and you have a right to love yourself. 

So where in your life or your work are you holding back on giving and doing of your best?

Where do you know you could love yourself more and be open to allow yourself to work from your heart?  

When will you remember that it’s time to wake up?  There is work to be done and the world is waiting for your love.

I know what a difference it has made to my business and my life, just by appreciating myself more. I relax knowing I don’t have to pretend to be brilliant, I know I’m blessed. I know that if I don’t know how I can serve my client at the start, I trust that I’m always shown the way.  Anything I need just shows up. I feel happy all the time. Being me is so easy. Loving me is so easy because I’m “a loving idea in the mind of God” – according to Marianne Williamson.

“We are all meant to shine. As children do.

We were born to make manifest the glory of God that is within us.

It’s not just in some of us; it’s in all of us; it’s in everyone.

As we let our  own light shine, we unconsciously give people permission to do the same.

As we are liberated from our own fear, our presence automatically liberates others”

 All Quotes are from “A Return to Love- Reflections on The Priciples of A Course in Miracles ” by Marianne Williamson

When I show what this looks like – I shine that from within – I naturally attract my tribe, the people who want to follow me. They trust me because I’m being authentic and creative and speaking to their hearts. Those who don’t like or even hear what I have to say are not my people. They belong to someone else who speaks their language to their hearts. And that’s perfect.

You will find this too. Just trust that you are amazing and do what you love, from your heart, for the people you love to work with and your clients will be attracted to your gifts and your light.

My work has become flow – hard play not hard work.

Most importantly I no longer feel like a fraud!

I’m true to myself and to you.

Even to the point of writing this post – which was easy to do. No doubt in my mind.  I wanted to come clean and express my thoughts along my journey. I trust that this will help even one person to see their value. The ripple effect will flow out to your clients, customers and family. Then out to the community, the country and the world! 

We as business owners and entrepreneurs are so worthy. We are the ones with the power to make the biggest changes on a local level that can reflect out on a global scale. We all come from love and my job, since I now know this in my heart, is to teach you this and to lead you back to love by helping you shine your light.

So by opening to self-love –  my higher self, my inner self  – Letting go of fear – Waking up and remembering who I am, I’m truly bringing love to my business, my relationships and my community.

My mission is to create a community of creative, inspired entrepreneurs who do what they love, make money, make a difference and MAKE THE WORLD A BETTER PLACE. 

What’s your mission? Are you awake to love? Could you do more for your people?

Do you think you are being a fraud to yourself?

So many questions! And you have the answers inside your heart.

I’m open for a discussion if any of this is affecting you right now – let’s have a conversation that could change your life

JENNIFER’S DIARY 

If you enjoyed this post and you found it useful please Share – Like and leave a comment on how you will add this to your life.  I’d really love to know what effect it has had on making a difference – Thank you so much. 

Plus when you join my mailing list and get a copy of my VALUES COMPARISON CHART one of my most powerful tools to help you discover who you are and how you are showing up in the world. Sign up in the pop-up or side bar. 

Let’s talk soon. 

Together – With Love We Can!

Jennifer x 

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