Have you lost your P-P?

Before you can answer that question you will, of course, need to know what it is I’m talking about. I’ll explain why I think it’s important to have it. Then you can identify if you’ve lost it. And finally, I should think you’d want to know how to get it back!

If I’m right then please read on.

So – your P-P stands for your Personal Power. I often talk about Personal Power in my courses and articles and it’s becoming quite common in the vocabulary of the personal development industry.

What is Personal Power?

Let me see if I can give you the dictionary definition of Personal Power before we continue.

Power is a measure of an entity’s ability to control the environment around itself, including the behaviour of other entities.

Personal = relating to, directed to, of, pertaining to, or coming as from a particular person.

So – your Personal Power Is your own personal ability to control or have an effect on your environment, situation and or the people around you.

Why is having Personal Power so important?

In order for us to be successful in whatever we want to do, be or have we will have to take control. To rely on others to do it for us is like wishing for the moon to come to us. It may never happen!

Do you ever get the feeling that you are here for a purpose? Well you can’t fulfil that purpose if you are not standing in your Personal Power.

My personal definition of Personal Power is that feeling that you get when you are in your ‘flow’.

-          When everything is going right and it’s easy to do.

-          You feel passionate and excited about what you’re doing.

-          You have a deep feeling of inner peace and happiness.

-          You just know, without doubt, that you are right.

-          You are in control and fully responsible.

-          You are able to enrol and influence the people around you.

-          And you are working in a place that is clutter free, healthy and nurturing.

-          It’s that point that you get to when after months of practice you relax and let go and you play the best piano concerto or write your best song.

-          Or – your project comes together after all that planning and preparation all of sudden everything fits and flows.

-          Or – you meet “The One” and you both have the same vision and feelings about your future together.

-          It’s your ability to say “No” and not feel guilty.

-          It’s when there are no doubts or hesitation in your decision making.

If these things rarely seem to happen in your life then you most certainly may have lost your Personal Power.

How did you lose it?

When we were babes in arms we had that Personal Power – we are born with it!

Ok, what am I talking about?

Have you ever observed babies when they want something?  They demand it!

When they cry it’s as if they make a declaration to the world that they want feeding or changing or to be hugged and guess what? – They get it! They have Personal Power!

As they grow they go exploring, tasting, touching, finding out that some things are good and some are not, but they are not afraid to try.  If they fall down they get up again and keep going until one day they don’t fall down. They have Personal Power!

Have you ever seen the enthusiasm in a class of 4-5 year olds when you ask them who wants to do something challenging. They may have no idea what it s your asking but their little hands will fly up in the air and the shout “I will, I will” or “I can … please Miss”. They have no sense of danger or fear they are willing to try and have a go. They have Personal Power!

That was once me and you.

However, over time, as you grow you come across boundaries that have been set up in this world to keep you safe and under control. Words like “no!” – “stop!” – “don’t!” seems to be 80% of the vocabulary being directed at you. You are taught to look for permission and approval from others just to be yourself.

Pretty soon you stop making those declarations to the world and being fully self-expressed. You start to question whether or not you can have this or do that.

At school – the teachers tell you “this is how it is…”

You may if you are lucky find a teacher that will allow you to be free and express your thoughts, feelings and ideas but they tend to be few and far between and they too are restricted by boundaries.

You leave school go to college and by now you are probably trying to break free and find the real you again but with no real direction. You start to find your own identity but with no idea of what’s possible, you just know that you don’t want to be like your parents or teachers.

You may have ended up in a job that keeps you from being fully self expressed. Your boss dictates what you do and how and when. You have no real power over your own destiny. And yet there is something deep inside yearning to be valued and given more choices.

If you are trying to bring out your creative talent, for example song writing, playing a musical instrument, singing, performing, painting or writing – you may have a developed a subconscious block that prevents you from raising your game and being fully self expressed and successful.

Over time you gain negative habits and thoughts that become normal and your Personal Power is eventually lost.

Look at the list below and see if you can identify any negative habits that you practice right now.

• Blaming others for your troubles and feelings – you in fact give away your power to them.
• Blaming yourself and feeling guilty – guilt is a useless emotion – it robs you of your power.
• Playing safe – not taking a step outside your comfort zone keeps you powerless.
• Procrastination – a sign of fear to take the steps needed to get the results required.
• Depression (not clinical depression)– wallowing in guilt or fear and making yourself feel bad.
• Violent behaviour – definitely a sign of lack of Personal Power.
• Anger and frustration – is a result of blaming.
• Lack of creativity – not allowing yourself to be fully self expressed.
• Hesitation – not knowing if you are doing the right thing.
• Lack of self belief – a true sign that you have lost your Personal Power.
• Being inauthentic – trying to blag, get around things and telling lies – not being your true self.
• Seeking approval – you are the expert in your own life you don’t need approval from anyone else.
• Neediness – is a result of wanting to be in control of someone else.
• Lack of direction – not trusting your ideas and inner desires.
• Lack of focus – getting caught up in too many choices and not trusting your intuition.
• Looking for status – feeding your ego.
• Unhealthy Relationships - – where you keep giving and nurturing getting nothing in return.
• Cluttered living or work space – whatever is going on inside always show up on the outside.

So How Do You Regain Your Personal Power?

There is a simple answer – Choose!

Make the choice to change. Change your thinking. Change your habits. Change your environment.

This is something that you have to give yourself permission to do. No-one can make you do this. And it won’t happen overnight. After all its taken years of you slowly drip feeding your power away. It will take some time but you will get it all back.

Start by doing any of the things listed below and work through the list – soon you will start to see positive changes and the successes you have been waiting for. -

Acknowledge –once you become aware that you have lost your Personal Power, and where in your life it’s affecting you most, you can start to take the steps to make improvements.

Take Responsibility – stop the blaming, acknowledge that there has been a mistake and do what you can to rectify it if you can. Learn from it if you can’t change anything.

Influence – learn to enrol others. Being positive and encouraging about what you do and who you are will begin to attract people who are positive and encouraging.  You will also attract great opportunities – just make sure you are ready and prepared to take them.

Be In Integrity – do what you say you will do. Think carefully before you make promises and then make sure they happen.

Do What You Love – be passionate about the things you like to do and express it often.

Be Confident – just know that you are right – that there is no-one like you and your ideas are valid. Statistics show that having confidence will make you appear really attractive regardless of looks, gender, financial or social status. The more confident you become the more Personal Power you develop and the more you will attract like minded people who will want to help you to succeed.

You don’t need anyone’s approval. You are fine and perfect as you are.

Know Your Strengths – be proud of them and use them in a wise way.

Know Your Weaknesses – acknowledge what they are and know that they are okay.  We all have them just don’t dwell on them. Get help from people who are strong where you are weak – they will be so glad you asked them.

Be Happy – be grateful for what you have no matter how small or difficult there is always someone out there who is having a worse time. Cherish the positive people in your life even if they sometimes give you grief, they may not be around for long. Your happiness will reflect out and will come back to you 10 fold.

Communicate – let the world know your intentions, your passions, your thoughts and ideas. So long as they are not offensive or harmful. You give away your Personal Power when you set out to do hurtful things.

Keep Good Company – “birds of a feather… “. If you want to be successful be around successful people and do what successful people do. You learn to be like minded and they can learn from you too. This applies to the kind of people you work with as well as those in your personal life. Keep away from dream-stealers and naysayers. They rob your energy as well as your Personal Power.

Know What You Want – make a decision, set goals and go for what you truly want.

Start to practice these habits and I promise you that you will see a difference in your achievements

What now?

Here’s a little exercise for you to do to start re-gaining your Personal Power –

1.   Think of 3 things that you have wanted for a while and never seem to get around to doing.

2.    Write them down.

3.    Then choose one to follow through.

4.    Then write it out as if you already have it – in big letters on an A4 sheet of paper.

5.    Don’t forget to put a “by when” date and time on it.

For example “I have £20,000 – 6pm 30th Nov 2010” or

“I ran the London Marathon – 4pm – 23^rd April 2011”or

“I did a gig with JLS at the O2 – 9pm 9^th Sept 2010”

6.   Put it somewhere you can see it every day. Perhaps on your fridge or bathroom mirror. I keep mine on a wall in my office

7.     Then start to plan out how you are going to achieve the thing you want.

8.     Then everyday make your declaration out loud as written on your sheet.

9.     Everyday do something towards that goal and then watch miracles happen.

10.  Above all have fun with it – enjoy the results and learn from the apparent failing.

Just keep going!

The only question to ask now is….

When are you going to free up that inner child, make your declaration – and regain your Personal Power!?

“It’s never too late to be who you might have been” – George Eliot

If you want more help with this visit my website http://www.life-change.me and find out about my introductory course

“How to Turbo-Charge your Personal Performance in 9 Simple Steps”

This course is designed for anyone who wants to take the first steps towards personal success.

Love Life – Live Now!

Jennifer x

Jennifer Beaumont-Whyte is a Personal Performance Coach and Motivational Writer. She also works closely with music industry professionals, recording artists and mangers to support them in their life and career challenges.

For further information – http://www.life-change.me

or contact me

email – jennifer@life-change.me
phone 07814938125

Tags: Have you lost your P-P?, Life, Motivation